Taking a Stand!

Never apologize for showing feeling.  When you do so, you apologize for the truth.  ~Benjamin Disraeli

Never be bullied into silence.  Never allow yourself to be made a victim.  Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.  ~Harvey Fierstein

Taking a stand for what you want or believe in can often be difficult, some people are very good at it and others (like myself) let things pass. Recently I’ve started to realise that because I won’t stand up for myself in various places, such as at work, and even with certain friends, people think that I’m a push-over. Maybe they are right, if someone ask’s me to do something I’ll probably do it.  I spend half of my monthly wage’s on other people with little gifts. I end up feeling guilty for something that I want for myself if it means someone else doesn’t get it.

Making A Choice

One of the biggest thing’s that I need to learn how to take a stand against is being forced to make a choice between my friends. My group of friends isn’t really like the normal set of friends the average person has. Instead it’s split into three groups, those I went to school with are split into two groups with half not liking the people in the other group and then I have my uni friends. Being unable to invite certain people to things when others from the different group have been invited can get quiet frustrating. Surely I should be allowed to invite whomever I like, if my friends can’t get over some of their very old issues then that’s up to them. Making me choose who I invite to things because they can’t be in the same room with each other constantly makes me feel like I’m having to choose which one of them I like the most. I like them equally! Sometimes splitting my social activities make’s me feel like I’m splitting myself, there is one April for one set of friends and then there is this whole other April for the other set.

Not Being Pushed Around In The Workplace!

When at work, if people ask me to do something I usually end up doing it, most of the time I don’t mind because it helps someone else out. However, sometimes people ask me to do something because they can’t be bothered and obviously know that I will do it for them. If you ask me politely and are willing to help me at times then I really don’t mind doing things for people at work and away from it, yesterday I finally hit my limit of what I’m willing to do for people. Leaving me work (not a massive amount I admit, but more than should have been) because they couldn’t be bothered to do anything all day really really annoyed at me. Normally I let things slide, get slightly annoyed and then moan a little to other people the next day, but I still do the work. Yesterday when hitting my limit I decided to take a little stand and not help those who left me their work get set-up for this morning, instead I chose to do work that helped someone else out instead. This may seem like a little stand but I have decided that I’m going to moan to the people involved today rather than about them to others. I’m going to make sure that they know I’m not going to take it anymore, I’m not going to let them walk all over me because they think I’m easy to manipulate!

One Step At A Time

Becoming a more assertive person who gets treated with more respect by certain people isn’t going to happen overnight, but by taking it one step at a time, standing up for myself like I would stand up for others  whenever needed will start to show people a change. Getting people at work to realise that I’m not willing to do things for them if I don’t want to or if I’m busy with other things will be easier than taking a stand against the friends that are constantly putting me down, are not very supportive yet expect me to do everything for them.

Watch this space people, If you’re on my list of people to take a stand against and you’re reading this then be prepared to start doing things for yourself from now on! If you’re one of my friends whose not on the list then sit back and watch me finally take a STAND!

Your Loyal Friend,

April xxx

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